HONOLULU—Hawaii's lieutenant governor recently discovered the existence of neighbor islands when she saw reports about the Maui fires. Sylvia Luke said she stepped away from her desk last week to watch CNN for "just a few seconds", and she learned that Hawaii is made up of multiple islands.
"I couldn't believe what I was seeing," Luke said. "I thought Oahu was the only island."
To make sure she wasn't watching fake news, Luke ran back to her office and grabbed some petty cash from the drawer to hire a helicopter to fly her to Maui. "I wanted to see it with my own eyes," she explained.
While in the air, pilot Chris Clawson informed Luke that there are actually eight major islands. "Nine," he said, "if you include Las Vegas."
Luke's chief of staff confirms that to date, Hawaii's second-in-command has spent all of her time hiring hundreds of relatives and giving her current staff "super huge raises." And when she's not overspending her budget, she's busy writing requests to Governor Green, asking for more money from the general budget.
"Now that I'm aware of the size of this state, we may have to govern a bit differently now," said the long-time politician. "And hire more staff!"
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