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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Schatz: Fed Shutdown Won't Keep Me From Buying More “Helps Me Look Hawaiian” Aloha Shirts
WASHINGTON—When it comes to finding money for the people of Hawaii, Senator Brian Schatz knows where to look. And despite a predicted...
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thepeskyfrog
1 min read
Sen. Hirono Reads Kids’ Porn To Staffers While She Waits For Latest Dem Talking Points
WASHINGTON—Senator Mazie Hirono is revealing how she spends her time in D.C. while she's waiting for someone from the Democrat party to...
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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Maui Self Identifies As Ukraine To Get Federal Money
WAILUKU—The island of Maui has self identified as Ukraine in order to get President Biden and Secretary Blinken to send relief money for...
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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Sen. Gabbard Shows Off Shiny Metal Straw When Asked About Hawaii’s High Cost of Living
EWA BEACH—Seemingly trying to avoid tough questions from the press about Hawaii's high cost of living, State Senator Mike Gabbard whipped...
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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Lt Gov Luke Unaware of Other Islands Until Maui Fire Made National News
HONOLULU—Hawaii's lieutenant governor recently discovered the existence of neighbor islands when she saw reports about the Maui fires....
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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Tarnas Now Supports Term Limits So More Citizens Can Participate in Corrupt Government
KAMUELA—In a stunning reversal, House Judiciary Chair David Tarnas now believes term limits in the Hawaii legislature are a good idea. "I...
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Kisma Ash
1 min read
Stacy Higa Says Just One More Federal Indictment and He’ll Qualify To Run For State Office
HILO—With two federal convictions for embezzlement and for offering a bribe, Stacy Higa believes his chances for being elected to a state...
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Elliot Parker
1 min read
Governor Green Studying To Be A Real Estate Agent
HILO—It's difficult to believe he can do two jobs well, but to add a third? Dr. Josh Green has secured his place as a student in Abe...
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